


Hey Sis!

by Scinon



Series: Oneshots [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Blogger Eren, Grisha Yeager's Bad Parenting, How Do I Tag, M/M, Obsessive Mikasa, Sassy Levi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-24
Updated: 2015-06-24
Packaged: 2018-04-05 23:24:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4198998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scinon/pseuds/Scinon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blogger Eren makes a tumblr post to tell the story of how he lost his virginity to a man he hates, Mikasa decides to take drastic measures and her brother will probably never blog again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hey Sis!

that-angry-german-kid:

> So I turned sixteen last night and you know, things tend to get pretty wild on that magnificent occassion. Ah, sweet sweet sixteen. Think hot girls, hot guys, booze, probably lots of naked people that no one recognizes. Doesn't it sound great? Well, I wouldn't know whether it is or not. I missed all of it.
> 
> You see, a certain someone thought it would be a good idea to come to my party uninvited. And I mean not just anybody. I am talking Levi Ackerman, the popular upperclassman that thinks it's okay to ruin everything and look damn sexy while doing so.
> 
> "Hello, Eren. How are you doing this fine evening?" He asks me when I open the door and I can hardly hear his low voice over the ravenous beat of the music.
> 
> "I'm good, thank you!" I yell in order to be heard and right when I'm about to shut the door into his face, hoping to smash his nose into it, he practically forced it back open and walked in all chill and what not.
> 
> "The night is young!" He mimics my tone with that cocky look he always has whenever he's up to something.
> 
> Man, I hate that guy with a passion. Armin had to hold me back from attacking him- shit, that sounded manlier in my mind. Anyway, I decided to ignore him. There were already a bunch of strangers vandalizing the living room, one more couldn't be that bad.
> 
> Long story short, while everyone was drunk as balls, this guy thought he'd be freaking rude and start rampaging through my stuff. Starting from the kitchen to dig out every single bottle containing alcohol and ending up in my room to potentially find an embarrassing snapshot of me from the Christmas party- or fuck knows what else!
> 
> So, in my attempts to stop him, we got in an argument and in the heat of the moment, we started taking our clothes off. You can pretty much piece together what happened next. If you can't, I'm sorry. I'm not going into detail. 
> 
> "Oh my god-"
> 
> "Please, call me Levi." He says with a snarky stance that makes me want to stab a bitch.
> 
> I pay no mind to his arrogance whilst I keep trying to figure out the right way pants are supposed to be worn. I will be honest, my sister's screams from downstairs made me shake violently and everything became that much harder- except for me. Talk about a boner-kill. 
> 
> "This shouldn't have happened, it shouldn't have happened, it shouldn't have happened!" I panic, finally managing to zip up my jeans and frantically trying to find my shirt.
> 
> "Should have thought about that earlier." This is exactly why I hate that guy! I literaly snapped at that, he knows I have a short temper and he won't stop taking advantage and get a good laugh out of it. He sucks. But man is he good at it... 
> 
> "Would you please not sass me? I am trying to think!" 
> 
> "It must be pretty hard for you."
> 
> I had just about the perfect comeback to shut him up once and for all but I was interrupted by Mikasa's screams approaching dangerously. 
> 
> "Eren! Where is Eren?! I swear if he's up to something dirty I'm going to kill him and then kill myself!" 
> 
> There was no way I'd get out of this alive.
> 
> "There actually is one." He taps my shoulder and heads towards the window.
> 
> I can't say I was too worried, it's not too high and he's quite good at jumping. Trust me, I'd know.
> 
> Right when I thought I actually had the smallest chance of surviving, we couldn't help ourselves but kiss each other goodnight -hatefully as always. And guess what friends. My sister walks in on me kissing the biggest asshat ever known to humankind, I stand there mortified with a stare similar to that of a dead fish whilst Levi fabulously jumps off the ledge, shouting "Jeronimo!"
> 
> Thanks to Mikasa being overprotective of yours truly, I couldn't persuade her to keep my doing a secret. And with that, I became an adult. Now, in order to take responsibility for my actions, I will have to bid you adieu and assist my father in developing a cure for homosexuality. Yes, that's right. It's what I get for being the son of the head of a research laboratory. 
> 
> That's all, folks. See you on the other side~

  
ackerwoman:

> lISTEN HERE U NEED TO BE STRAIGHT. YOU  USED TO BE STRAIGHT WAT HAPPENED

humanitys-sexiest:

> Well, so is spaghetti until you get it hot and wet.

that-angry-german-kid:

> YOU GUYS ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO KNOW ABOUT THIS SITE GTFO

majestic-stallion:

> you know who else isn't supposed to know about this site?

that-angry-german-kid:

> HOE DON'T DO IT

shota-arlert:

> Did you know? Every "yo mama" joke has been done thousands of times by thousands of different people. #fact

humanitys-sexiest:

> Kinda like yo mama.

that-angry-german-kid:

> OH MY GOD.

**Author's Note:**

> I write stupid things, I need help.


End file.
